22 Jul

Just a quick update- after an incredibly strenuous day hanging out with friends at the lake ( :p ) I came home to a package. And not just any package…(no, not that kind of package, you sickos) but it was…..*drumroll*….TURBOFIRE!

This is going to be me tomorrow morning. Obviously I already look that intense and am in that good of shape (insert incredibly sarcastic tone here πŸ˜‰ )

But being serious- I so need this. I have a little confession that was actually inspired by Lisa (thanks for giving me the courage to put this out there hun!). I am a terrible binge eater. It all started when I was first diagnosed with IBS and GERD. It wasn’t hard having to cut out meat and dairy (I have no desire for those foods…except ice cream) but once I was told that I couldn’t enjoy doughnuts, ice cream, sweets, mexican food (salsa, chips, cheesy burritos), thai food (peanut sauce?!), and just the occasional junk, my cravings for them have just skyrocketed. Once I have a bite I just figure that I’m going to be in pain later anyway so I might as well go all out and eat my face off.Β  Enter: excruciating pain, bloatedness, and just being miserable. And, I’m pretty sure my binges have definitely contributed to my significant weight gain.

So- back to TurboFire. I need an outlet. I need consistency. I need a goal. I know that I’m harboring a lot of anger towards my medical conditions and I just need a healthy outlet to channel out my anger and frustration. For some reason I’m in this part of my medical condition where I just want to prove it wrong and eat those things which I know that cause me pain just to prove something….but I don’t know what I’m proving. Maybe I’m just angry that I feel like a 22 year old shouldn’t have to deal with something like this at such a young age. So, I binge out of anger, frustration, and sadness. So lame, I know. But its something that I’m trying to work through.

So, please, help hold me accountable with this. Instead of binging, I need to do something more productive and HEALTHY to release my anger and frustration. So, 12 weeks- I can do this.

PS- I just ate a cinnamon roll and now my stomach hates me 😦

But its okay, because tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to begin again. πŸ™‚

Stay positive, right? πŸ˜‰


4 Responses to “TurboFire HAS ARRIVED!”

  1. lisaou11 July 22, 2010 at 2:24 pm #

    I think Turbofire looks like a BLAST. I went to the website and watched the video of it and it looks fun AND hard.

    isn’t it funny how our mind is like that..the minute you tell it it cant have something is the minute it wants it. Its hard for you bc, bc its for medical reasons. I used to binge a lot and it was all bc of restriction on my part.

    Thats why I could never become a veg or a vegan.

  2. Katie July 23, 2010 at 2:29 am #

    Two of my favorite mottoes “gotta stay positive” and “tomorrow is another day.” I plan to inhabit both of those mentalities ASAP!

  3. Anne August 1, 2010 at 3:01 pm #

    Hi πŸ™‚ – had to shoot you a comment, I am 28 and I love it that you are conscious of making the right decisions for your health. I probably know how you feel about being ill – anger, sadness, frustration and all the thousand ways in which being sick in your stomach affects a healthy mental relationship with food. You’re so right, there’s a day tomorrow and cinnamon rolls are not – by far – the epitome of joy in life. I try to focus learning how to make good, nutritious food so I’ll be craving my own stuff rather than something that’s going to make me feel ill – I blog about it because it often feels lonely and weird. Hope my comment is of some use to you, and anyways just hope you have fun with the new exercise thingy πŸ™‚

  4. Paula September 23, 2010 at 4:59 pm #

    Chica! You’ve been MIA – hope you’re doing well.

    BTW, I love how candid you are on your blog. I find it encouraging. We’re all just trying to eat well and live well and be healthy which is really a challenge! Especially when you’ve got health problems to contend with. I go on terrible binges too – the other night I ate an entire box of peanut butter granola thins!

    Keep up your positive attitude and determination and don’t ever be hard on yourself – You’re amazing! And remember, it’s all about PROGRESS, not Perfection πŸ˜‰

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