Just a quick update- after an incredibly strenuous day hanging out with friends at the lake ( :p ) I came home to a package. And not just any package…(no, not that kind of package, you sickos) but it was…..*drumroll*….TURBOFIRE!
But being serious- I so need this. I have a little confession that was actually inspired by Lisa (thanks for giving me the courage to put this out there hun!). I am a terrible binge eater. It all started when I was first diagnosed with IBS and GERD. It wasn’t hard having to cut out meat and dairy (I have no desire for those foods…except ice cream) but once I was told that I couldn’t enjoy doughnuts, ice cream, sweets, mexican food (salsa, chips, cheesy burritos), thai food (peanut sauce?!), and just the occasional junk, my cravings for them have just skyrocketed. Once I have a bite I just figure that I’m going to be in pain later anyway so I might as well go all out and eat my face off. Enter: excruciating pain, bloatedness, and just being miserable. And, I’m pretty sure my binges have definitely contributed to my significant weight gain.
So- back to TurboFire. I need an outlet. I need consistency. I need a goal. I know that I’m harboring a lot of anger towards my medical conditions and I just need a healthy outlet to channel out my anger and frustration. For some reason I’m in this part of my medical condition where I just want to prove it wrong and eat those things which I know that cause me pain just to prove something….but I don’t know what I’m proving. Maybe I’m just angry that I feel like a 22 year old shouldn’t have to deal with something like this at such a young age. So, I binge out of anger, frustration, and sadness. So lame, I know. But its something that I’m trying to work through.
So, please, help hold me accountable with this. Instead of binging, I need to do something more productive and HEALTHY to release my anger and frustration. So, 12 weeks- I can do this.
PS- I just ate a cinnamon roll and now my stomach hates me
But its okay, because tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity to begin again.
Stay positive, right?